Recently, I was faced with a major issue that left me absolutely reeling. My significant other of more than three years decided to abandon our relationship. Devastated does not even begin to describe how I felt. Almost immediately, I reverted back to my age-old behaviour patterns of suicidal ideation. This was very distressing for me because I was convinced that I had finally been able to put my BPD into complete remission and then, suddenly I seemed to be right back at square one again. It really threw me for a loop. It did not take long for me to hatch a very good plan and start to acquire the tools I would need to be able to carry it out.Read More
My biological mother abandoned me when I was about six months. At least that’s the way the story goes. No one really knows for sure. The doctor who worked at the orphanage where I was dropped off assessed me to be about six months old. But since I was abandoned with no identifying information it was impossible for anyone to know for sure.Read More
I spent years trying to commit suicide and probably made more than 15 attempts in my life. Thankfully, none of them were successful although there were a few which came pretty darn close. I used to hoard pills and keep them in a bottle which I hid under my bed. It was my “ security blanket”. My stash was my “way out” if things got to the point that I could no longer stand to be alive.Read More
Most people who have been diagnosed with BPD are completely unaware that it is the only personality disorder in the DSM-5 which contains any kind of self-injurious behaviour among its diagnostic criteria. Many, if not all, patients diagnosed with BPD will make at least one suicide attempt in their lifetime and people with BPD are very high risk for completion of suicideRead More
If you are feeling depressed and suicidal this story is for you. I learned some very important lessons after my last suicide attempt – things I never knew before.The moral of this story is: Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it. Or, in my case, almost get it.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I was depressed my entire life. Having been abandoned at the age of six months by my biological mother at an orphanage then being abandoned by the nuns at the orphanage when they handed me over to my new adoptive parents, I was primed to develop Borderline Personality Disorder. At the age of 16, I was subsequently dismissed by a group of grade school friends because I had become “too egotistical”. No big surprise then that I made my first serious suicide attempt two months later, A short stint of outpatient therapy did not yield any significant results. I was deemed to be highly resistant to therapy and I soon dropped out entirely.Read More