Posts tagged #bpdrecvoery
How using the DBT skill called DEAR MAN set me free

In the late 1980s, a psychologist named Dr. Marsha Linehan began her seminal work on a treatment protocol called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). The treatment is now recognized as the gold standard treatment protocol for people who have BPD because it teaches us how to regulate our emotions. The core fundamental practice of DBT is something called mindfulness. For me, the most important part of DBT was learning how to manage my interpersonal relationships, something most of us have great difficulty with.

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Living in an emotional wasteland because of my BPD

Almost all my life I lived in an emotional wasteland. By that I mean I had virtually no emotional intimacy with anyone: not my parents,  not my sibling, not my husband or my friends or my children. I lived a life of emotional solitary confinement because I never trusted anyone enough to let them get close to me. When anyone tried to get close I would push them away with such force that they would turn and run for the hills and never come back.

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The Almost Unbearable Loneliness of BPD

I have very few friends anymore because over the course of the years of my mental illness, I chased almost all of them away. I woke up one day and realized just what a solitary existence I was living and how lonely I had become. My husband died some years ago and my children all left home to go to university in another town. Because the town where I live and where they grew up is quite small, they all resolved to never return. So, it is just me and the dog now.

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Making a choice to stop the chaos in my life was very healing

A friend once commented to me that I lived my life from “crisis to crisis”. I was taken aback by this because I did not understand the statement and I also did not see it. But after my husband died, I began to take a very serious look at my life. I actually say that it was my husband’s death which propelled me on my road to recovery. If he walked into the house today, he would not recognize me because I have become a totally different person.

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How to build and maintain personal boundaries

Personal boundaries. Very important for everyone but building them and then maintaining them can be two very difficult matters.  Having good personal boundaries is essential to maintaining your mental health. Figuring out how to set boundaries and then enforce them is a skill, something that the none of us are not born with but which the vast majority of us are capable of learning.

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Learning how to identify your emotional triggers is a first step in BPD recovery

Until you are able to identify your emotional triggers you will almost certainly continue being victimized by them and the feelings they engender in you. If you want to effect real and lasting change in you life, you must first figure out the things that drive you mad with rage, feelings of abandonment and sadness. Until you do that, you will be powerless to address the underlying feelings and the way you react to them.


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