If you live with BPD you may be familiar with this dance. It happens when you react to a prompting event and lash out or turn to self-harm or run away. I call it the Dance of Dysfunction and it goes like this:Read More
The apology(ies) you seek can be found starting on Page 4. Even though this is a long letter, I ask that you read it from start to finish. Most parents would never be as transparent as I am trying to be with you but I think that the information contained in this letter is on a “need to know basis” and that is why I have decided to share it with you.Read More
read your letter. There is a lot I disagree with, but I don’t want to bother addressing all of that now. Suffice to say, your conduct at my brother’s wedding left me with the distinct impression that you did not like me very much and I am at a loss as to how to square that with your general statement that you wish to have a better relationship with me.Read More
t was so nice seeing you, [your wife] and the baby last week when I attended your brother’s wedding last weekend. I wanted to touch base with you about a few things which have been bothering me for some time.Read More
I was reading an article on a blog in which the author says, “I am a borderline.” I see this terminology on The Mighty where I publish my stories about my life with BPD on a regular basis. I usually enjoy reading what my peer writers submit but I have been troubled by this young woman’s choice of words when describing herself. Now, you might be wondering why I would react negatively to this. If she has BPD doesn’t that make her “a borderline”? Let me explain.
When Dee Chan feels suicidal, it completely overtakes her.
She says it’s like standing on a beach, watching a tsunami wave coming straight for her. She can’t outrun it. She can’t swim through it. She can’t get away from it. So she just stands there, helpless, waiting for it to knock her down and drag her out to sea.
But tsunamis aren’t just one wave. The tsunami earned the nickname “wave train” because once it starts, the destructive waves keep coming and coming. This has certainly been the case in Chan’s life — once the tsunami of suicidal feelings starts, it’s hard for her to believe the waves will ever cease.