Email is never a good way to try to resolve conflict so don't do it. Instead, when you want to deliver an assertive message to someone try to do it in person, face to face. If you are not able to do that, however, and HAVE to resort to doing it by email, this is an example of how to write it.Read More
We all want to be loved and needed. I think that’s one of the core parts of being human. It is important to us. But when it become pathological it causes problems for us. Many people with BPD become huge people pleasers because they want to be loved and needed by everyone they come into contact with. This kind of behavior ends up taking a terrible toll on a person. It erodes self-worth and self-esteem because it ties your self-worth to being validated by another person.Read More
People who have BPD often have tremendous issues with anger — both expressing it and being the recipient of it. They will often go to extreme lengths to make people happy in order to avoid having people get angry at them. The flip side of that is that they themselves can go into a drop dead rage at the drop of a hat. I will examine why this happens.
Some psychiatrists believe that people have intense issues around anger because when they were children, they were not “allowed” to express it and, in some cases, told that even feeling it was somehow bad. As they grow up, they learn that anger is a “bad” thing and so learn to go to great lengths to avoid having it in their life.Read More