Posts tagged #DBT
How I was finally able to stop suffering over the lost relationships with my children

If you had asked me after I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) if I had any idea how it would affect my life, you’d have received an utterly blank look in return. I was diagnosed with BPD about 35 years ago. It had only been included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the psychiatrists’ bible in 1980, the same year I was diagnosed. At the time of my diagnosis, BPD was largely considered an incurable disease and many people died by their own hands because of the unbearable pain and anguish it causes.

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Why I stopped using the word crazy to define myself

I’m an admin on a Facebook page for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I love doing this work and serving this community. It is one of the most meaningful things I do. Our site is set up so that when a member makes a post, an admin or a moderator has to approve it before it is posted. Last week,one of our members posted a link to a song by a young woman named Bebe Rexha, called “I’m gonna show you.” I listened to the song and was quite impressed with her voice but the lyrics…. I have not been able to get them out of my head and I have been thinking a LOT about what she has to say. Language is how we communicate with each other

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Why I Cherish My Boring Life

I tell people all the time that my life is very boring and I  suppose that compared to a lot of other people, that’s very true. I’m not complaining, just stating a fact. I don’t go out much, I don’t date, I don’t have many hobbies. I am mostly at home, online in the two Facebook communities in which I participate. I like it this way.


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What is triangulation and how does it hurt you?

When people talk about people who have BPD one of the things they often talk about is how manipulative they are. I agree that people with BPD can use manipulative behavior but I don’t think we are inherently manipulative -- that is, I don’t believe we are born that way or can’t learn another way to behave. People, whether they have BPD or not, often use a mechanism called triangulation when they are being manipulative. I must say that I believe that people only resort to manipulative  behavior when every other avenue for getting what they want or need has failed. Manipulative behavior should be seen as a behavior of last resort for a person. I also believe that this character trait is, like most other things “BPD” is learned behavior.

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Why it is important to be able to differentiate between primary and secondary emotions

For most people, being able to identify primary emotion is fairly easy. Primary emotions are reactions we have to an external event, i.e. something that happens in your immediate environment. So, for example, when someone you know and love passes away, you may feel sad. If you are going to be having a test in the near future, you may feel nervous or anxious about it. 


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