Posts tagged #BPD
Do you really want to run away?

I see the sentiment “I just want to run away” in the various BPD groups to which I belong. Oh,yeah, I totally get it. I spent years trying to “run away” from my life and myself, my fears and anxieties. When I couldn’t run away physically, I would do it emotionally through distance, dissociation and suicide attempts. I would feel frantic by my situation, trapped, hopeless and helpless and wanted nothing

more than to get away from it -- all the pain and anguish and just down-right suffering.

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How using the DBT skill called DEAR MAN set me free

In the late 1980s, a psychologist named Dr. Marsha Linehan began her seminal work on a treatment protocol called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). The treatment is now recognized as the gold standard treatment protocol for people who have BPD because it teaches us how to regulate our emotions. The core fundamental practice of DBT is something called mindfulness. For me, the most important part of DBT was learning how to manage my interpersonal relationships, something most of us have great difficulty with.

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Living in an emotional wasteland because of my BPD

Almost all my life I lived in an emotional wasteland. By that I mean I had virtually no emotional intimacy with anyone: not my parents,  not my sibling, not my husband or my friends or my children. I lived a life of emotional solitary confinement because I never trusted anyone enough to let them get close to me. When anyone tried to get close I would push them away with such force that they would turn and run for the hills and never come back.

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The Almost Unbearable Loneliness of BPD

I have very few friends anymore because over the course of the years of my mental illness, I chased almost all of them away. I woke up one day and realized just what a solitary existence I was living and how lonely I had become. My husband died some years ago and my children all left home to go to university in another town. Because the town where I live and where they grew up is quite small, they all resolved to never return. So, it is just me and the dog now.

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