Letter to my child which went horribly wrong

TANZANIA SMALL.jpg

It was so nice seeing you, [your wife] and the baby when I attended your brother’s wedding last weekend. I wanted to touch base with you about a few things which have been bothering me for some time.

Last year, when I realized that the three of you had travelled all the way to Tanzania to visit your wife’s mother at Christmas, I was quite taken aback when I realized where you had gone and how you had travelled all that way o see her with the baby. And, then, when the three of you moved and you did not provide me with your  new address, again, I felt quite taken aback. These two things felt very hurtful to me. I have kept silent about it for several reasons. I know you must have your reasons for doing this but, more importantly, I do not wish to intrude in your life or unduly put pressure on you to maintain closer contact with me. I also realize that it was not your intention to hurt me. I know how busy you are working full time at a very busy job with a family at home. Nevertheless, more than a year has gone by without you sending any photos to me of the baby. I feel very hurt by this and I feel like I have been utterly shut out of my granddaughter’s life.Even though I am also sure it is not your intention to shut me out of her life, that is, from my perspective, what has occurred.  I never hear anything about any milestones she is achieving or what she has been doing or learning from day to day.

I am not asking you to do anything but I want to tell you that your  lack of contact hurts me tremendously.

Love,

Mom

Mom