How I learned how to stop being afraid of my feelings

Being vulnerable is a very scary and frightening thing for most people. We feel naked and open to the world without any protection and so we learn to try to avoid experiencing that feeling. Sometimes, when we avoid it too much it causes us to become afraid of our feelings. This is what happened to me when I was knee deep in my BPD pathology.

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What Practicing Radical Acceptance Taught me

When I first heard about this thing called radical acceptance I thought it had to do with accepting myself unconditionally. But I soon discovered that it had nothing to do with that at all. Radical acceptance is one of the cornerstones of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and DBT is  the gold standard treatment for people diagnosed with BPD. DBT works where most other treatment protocols have failed. Why? Because it teaches vital coping skills which we never learned when we were growing up.

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Learning the difference between wants and needs

If you are always struggling financially by the time the end of the month comes it may be because you are getting your wants and needs mixed up. Often people say, “I NEED that [insert item name here] when in point of fact it is something they WANT instead.

Our needs are very simple. We need food, clothing and shelter. Everything that falls outside those three categories are wants. Still, having said that it is easy to feel like you desperately need something.

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How to turn off that hypercritical voice in your head

Our internal dialogue plays a huge part in shaping our opinion about ourselves. What happens if your internal self is always in hypercritical mode, always telling you that you’re stupid or ugly or fat or can’t do anything right?

Having an inner self that says things like this to you on a daily basis destroys your self-esteem and erodes your self-confidence. It is best to learn how to turn this little internal harpie off once and for all. If you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) chances are you know exactly what I am talking about but you may not realize the extent of the damage it does or how to stop it.

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