Fear of Abandonment and BPD

One of the determining factors in the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder until recently was the the fear of abandonment.  That is all set to change in the DSM-5. But while abandonment issues have been officially removed from the diagnostic criteria involved in BPD, they remain a very large issue for many people who suffer from BPD.

One of the determining factors in the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder until recently was the the fear of abandonment.  That is all set to change in the DSM-5. But while abandonment issues have been officially removed from the diagnostic criteria involved in BPD, they remain a very large issue for many people who suffer from BPD.

 

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Learn how to give a real apology

It is extremely difficult for most people to offer up a real apology. Most of the time our apologies look like this, “I’m sorry but….” or “I’m sorry except….” or “I’m sorry however….” If you want to apologize to someone your statement should look more like “I’m sorry for saying …..” or “I’m sorry I hurt you when I did …..” If you qualify your apology or try to shift the cause of your bad behaviour onto the other person then it is not an authentic and genuine apology. Being able to give an authentic apology is very difficult. It requires that you take a good, hard

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Dee ChanBPD No MoreComment
Learning To Practice The Reinforcing Art Of Self-Love

Most people really struggle with the idea of engaging in self-love. They think, “I don’t want to be conceited!” It feels awkward to even talk about the concept let alone start to think about doing it. Most people are not taught that self-love is something they should aspire to. They are not taught to value it as a concept. But the philosophy which says, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” is never more true that when it comes to self-love. In fact, I like to take it one step further and say, “You can’t love from an empty heart.”

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How Can I Overcome My Emotional Pain? Part II

People learn from a very early age that life has many ups and downs. Feeling physical pain is unavoidable. So, is emotional pain. The problem for people with BPD is that we get stuck in our emotional pain and like a person who is drowning, don’t know how to rescue ourselves. When you experience emotional trauma such as abandonment, rejection or profound failure it can be extremely difficult to recover.

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Why It Is So Important For People With BPD To Live In The Present -- Mindfulness Works

People with Borderline Personality Disorder often get very caught up in past events. They ruminate over all the people who abandoned them or didn’t love them the way they wanted to and needed to be loved. They are constantly in “what if” mode. They will replay old scenarios of defeat  or even their victories but not be able to truly savour the feelings engendered by their victory. Similarly, they also tend to live in the future, playing out fantasies of how might turn out for them in the future. Both of these behaviours are maladaptive and counterproductive for someone who wants to live a healthy, happy life.

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The Secret To MY Happiness

About five years ago I sent an email to a good friend of mine in which I complained about something pretty trivial. I was astounded when I received her response.

“I don’t understand you. Why are you always so unhappy and miserable? You have more financial security than many people I know, you have children who love and adore you and you are multi-talented. Get over yourself already,” she wrote.

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