What Happens When You Keep The Idea Of Suicide As Your Ace In The Hole

I spent years trying to commit suicide and probably made more than 15 attempts in my life. Thankfully, none of them were successful although there were  a few which came pretty darn close. I used to hoard pills and keep them in a bottle which I hid under my bed. It was my “ security blanket”. My stash was my “way out” if things got to the point that I could no longer stand to be alive.

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Why Are People With BPD People Pleasers and How To Stop Being That Way

We all want to be loved and needed. I think that’s one of the core parts of being human. It is important to us. But when it become pathological it causes problems for us. Many people with BPD become huge people pleasers because they want to be loved and needed by everyone they come into contact with.  This kind of behavior ends up taking a terrible toll on a person. It erodes self-worth and self-esteem because it ties your self-worth to being validated by another person.

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The best defense is a good offense, or is it?

 

My Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) always made the world feel like a very scary place. It was hard for me to distinguish between whether or not people were really interested in me or simply taking advantage of me. I felt like I was exploited a lot of the time so I lived in a constant state of fight or flight. I was always so angry and would storm out of the room at the drop of a hat. Always abruptly ending relationships. I had a long history of broken relationships and destroyed friendships in my past. I was constantly living in what I came to call “The Best Defense is a Good Offense” mode. What exactly is this?

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