Living in an emotional wasteland because of my BPD

Almost all my life I lived in an emotional wasteland. By that I mean I had virtually no emotional intimacy with anyone: not my parents,  not my sibling, not my husband or my friends or my children. I lived a life of emotional solitary confinement because I never trusted anyone enough to let them get close to me. When anyone tried to get close I would push them away with such force that they would turn and run for the hills and never come back.

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The Almost Unbearable Loneliness of BPD

I have very few friends anymore because over the course of the years of my mental illness, I chased almost all of them away. I woke up one day and realized just what a solitary existence I was living and how lonely I had become. My husband died some years ago and my children all left home to go to university in another town. Because the town where I live and where they grew up is quite small, they all resolved to never return. So, it is just me and the dog now.

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Why The Same Sex Parent is an Extremely important Role Model in a Child’s Life

When you become a parent, your entire world changes. Or maybe I should say, shifts. Gone are the days you can be totally engrossed in only yourself. As a parent, you must focus on an entirely new being in your life, your child. But what happens to the child if the parent is unable to do that? It depends on many different factors.

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My important relationship with a transitional object when I was an inpatient thirty years ago

When I was an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital some thirty years ago, I developed an unbelievably strong transference with my psychiatrist. He  became my entire world and I wanted nothing more than to be able to climb inside his skin and live next to his heart forever. When he told me one day that he was leaving for a two week vacation, I felt like my entire world was coming to an end. I didn’t know what to do! I went into full-blown panic mode. My anxiety skyrocketed.

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