The gift of hindsight should not be dismissed

I met my husband when I was just 17. Fresh out of high school, brash as could be, ready to take the world by storm. I had moved from my hometown to the nation’s capital and got an apartment with two of my friends. I was headed to New York City, you see where I intended to find a job on Broadway. Instead,  I found an office job and a gig singing in a small downtown bar where I developed my first set of groupies. Life was good.

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Putting radical acceptance into overdrive

Every now and then you meet a person who turns your life upside down. I met just this person about 8 months ago on Facebook. He contacted me first, I think but. I really don’t remember and that detail is not germane to this story. He calls me “shaman” a title I really don’t understand but nevertheless, he has become very important to me. I feel a deeply rooted connection to him. We have never met, never spoken on the telephone or even had a video chat but he has affected me very profoundly.

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How I learned how to stop being afraid of my feelings

Being vulnerable is a very scary and frightening thing for most people. We feel naked and open to the world without any protection and so we learn to try to avoid experiencing that feeling. Sometimes, when we avoid it too much it causes us to become afraid of our feelings. This is what happened to me when I was knee deep in my BPD pathology.

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What Practicing Radical Acceptance Taught me

When I first heard about this thing called radical acceptance I thought it had to do with accepting myself unconditionally. But I soon discovered that it had nothing to do with that at all. Radical acceptance is one of the cornerstones of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and DBT is  the gold standard treatment for people diagnosed with BPD. DBT works where most other treatment protocols have failed. Why? Because it teaches vital coping skills which we never learned when we were growing up.

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