Most of us with BPD can relate to this: you are out with a friend and she says something about your hairstyle which insults you and before you know it, you are off to the races, loaded for bear. One thing leads to another and in no time at all the friendship has blown up in your face and she goes from being a friend and close confidante to a sworn enemy. You are left bewildered and wondering, “How in the world did this happen?”Read More
My former partner broke up with me or perhaps I should say that I broke up with HIM after he assaulted me. We had been on what I had hoped would be a wonderfully romantic holiday in Hawaii. Did we have a fight? Well, if you mean a screaming and yelling at one another kind of fight, the answer is no, we did not. We had words but there was no screaming or yelling. His assault came completely out of the blue. In fact, it was the LAST thing I EVER expected him to do. Ever.
Many of us find ourselves receiving a BPD diagnosis following a hospitalization because of a suicide attempt. In most cases, the diagnosis won’t be troublesome until we go searching for a psychiatrist. Often when the new psychiatrist reads through the chart we soon discover that we have become radioactive. Sometimes the new psychiatrist will refuse to take on a new BPD patient entirely or give the patient so many conditions for treatment that the chances of forming a therapeutic alliance are next to nil. Why is this the case?Read More
In the late 1980s, a psychologist named Dr. Marsha Linehan began her seminal work on a treatment protocol called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). The treatment is now recognized as the gold standard treatment protocol for people who have BPD because it teaches us how to regulate our emotions. The core fundamental practice of DBT is something called mindfulness. For me, the most important part of DBT was learning how to manage my interpersonal relationships, something most of us have great difficulty with.Read More
Almost all my life I lived in an emotional wasteland. By that I mean I had virtually no emotional intimacy with anyone: not my parents, not my sibling, not my husband or my friends or my children. I lived a life of emotional solitary confinement because I never trusted anyone enough to let them get close to me. When anyone tried to get close I would push them away with such force that they would turn and run for the hills and never come back.Read More
I have very few friends anymore because over the course of the years of my mental illness, I chased almost all of them away. I woke up one day and realized just what a solitary existence I was living and how lonely I had become. My husband died some years ago and my children all left home to go to university in another town. Because the town where I live and where they grew up is quite small, they all resolved to never return. So, it is just me and the dog now.Read More